So you try and fail and when you know how it should be it still falls apart. Me I will sit back and watch since there is little to anything want to do My plans don't include telling anyone ...

So what could be Next

Well so far things don't or aren't going as planned but things just keep on going not that I want things to just stop but still looking for a break in the rentless effort to put things right. Which by my standards is all over the place and every time I get an excuse I know that there is a twisted reasoning behind it nwhich this has been f**ked up for so long hard to trun it around but wil happen sooner than later

It was so simple

You proved that it's not over you done everything you could to make sure that it would not end .. So this is where I should go away and take all my money with me even though you have secret accounts that are taking my money for thing that aren't there which to me is just a matter of being gone for awhile .. You see when you fucked it you messed up so now you either correct it or end it and since you didn't end it it should come to an end

It's getting late

Well maybe you delete this one too..You need the sex and money but in my case money is not going to be here for long i really don't see you coming around to me anymore so I'm taking my thing and moving on and you'll just ahve to find a new way of surviving... There will be no money and you can try to lie to some one else ....To say I didn't care was hurtful and you took all hope so being lied to I could have gone on but when there is no hope I done and will not try to help any more for when hope is all you live on and that is taken away then It's time to make a new start somewhere else...

Follow the Money

Sometime it just to much, You say all you need is sex and money and the rest doesn't matter. To bad since that is all there, I believe that life doesn't hsve to be that way and to take it all and give nothing back will work for those who bend to your wishes so keep pushing for an end will come soon ...

I talk because you take my words and twist them to sound the way you feel that they should be, even in a day when all you say does nothing to anybody so you hurt the one around you to prove how strong and controolling you are ...

Really means nothing to me I write crazy thing to keep my sanity ..It's like you can't wait for the next little bit of money to come in like tax return and then will spend it and act like nothing happened .. well so you think you can grow a business this way but it will bring it down ... I wish you no ill but money has come to an end and this control you have is not what you think it is ,, all and all you push I push back but to degrade someone to the point of what you show is unthinkable ...

New Morning

A new day is dawning and a way that seems to be enlighten by the past, even though it's still in the future life seems like it started over and I will for now be able to decide what I need to do and have the ability to do it. I read science tech and listen to ficton stories even try to write now and then.. But life isn't so simple some of the things I try to do like art is still influenced by violence and it hard for me to focus on the picture when my thoughts stray towards that type of thing. Need less to say art in any form is an expression of the inner self and what I get out of it is an experience that not only leads me in different directions but to a goal ... In fact I believe that with the light at the end of the tunnel there is actually a dirrection for me to work towards ...

So do any of this make sence I'm not really sure so I write amd life goes on as always I wish the best for anyone out there and for me too.